PART 1 - HOUSTON
I have this friend. Asher. And I’m down bad for him.
We met on Reddit, of all places. I’ve been an active user of the r/portland and r/hockey subreddits for a few years now, and at a certain point I realized I was talking to the same guy over and over again. It wasn’t intentional, but we always had the same quips to make about forwards who just really needed to hit the goddamn puck into the goddamn goal or why Gresham is so gross, and after a while of that I finally sent him a DM. Soon enough, me and u/autisticbostondog were texting on the regular.
I have my D&D friends who I’m closest to, who I see at least once a week and I know details of their inner psyches through the mystical world of bards and barbarians. We became friends sophomore year of high school and we’re all still buddies four years later. They are, by all metrics, my closest friends. I’d probably call Asher my best friend, though. We text for hours every day but he lives in Gresham and I live in Hillsboro, so we don’t often make that hour drive. He’s never met any of my friends before, actually. They all joke about how I have this internet darling autistic doggy boyfriend, the kind that people lust about giving them sloppy toppy while yapping about their hyperfixations or whatever.
I really like him. I mean, he’s the first person I text when I wake up and we text for hours before we go to bed. He’s sweet and funny and so real but not very expressive and his Boston accent is super thick even though he’s lived here for years and he has the cutest little bangs that I cut for him whenever we hang out.
I love lounging on my bed in the morning, sun streaming through the windows, and opening my laptop to text him. Nothing makes me happier. Today I’m in my boxers and nothing else, wagging my tail in the sun.
Hiiiiii
Good morning asher <3 <3 <3
Good morning Houston!
How are you today
The way he texts is so funny to me because it’s nothing like how he talks in real life. He speaks so flatly and with such a strong accent – I really can’t emphasize that anymore. Seeing him use embellishments and exclamation points is really funny because it could not be further from how he really talks.
Good
Sleeby
I just woke up
Yaaawn
Did you have any dreams
I did
About u actually
About me?
Yah
You me and my sister were at like
IDK how to explain it but it was like if my online classes were real life
Like if you could walk into them
And like Izzy and I were going through them and we found you
I don’t really know how to explain it better LOL
Haha that’s funny
Like a giant hallway with all the classes in them?
Yes exactly
You were like sitting on the floor and we had to free you
LOL IDK if that makes any sense
It does
It sounds fun
WBU
What r u up to
Watching the Bruins game I missed
And then I was called into work so I’ll be fisherying
Right, his two interests. The Boston Bruins and the fishery. It’s so random but I literally couldn’t care less. Sometimes he infodumps about hockey or fish and all I can do is sit at my computer with the biggest smile on my face as the text pours in. He’s so freaking cute.
Yum
Do ur paws smell like fish after
They do
They have like ivory soap bars but i kinda like the way it smells
When r u at work?
Actually pretty soon
I gotta get dressed
And watch the hockey game while ur dressing
Haha yes
Sorry we couldn’t talk for longer
That’s OK
We can talk later
Yay!
Ok talk to you later!
Have good classes + work!
Byeeeeeeeee
I close my laptop and lay in the sun for a little bit. I put one of my sun salutation playlists on and close my eyes. It’s so nice and warm.
I wish we could have talked for longer. Right now he’s only working maybe 10 hours a week whenever the fishery needs more people to help out and normally they call him in when I’m at work or in class. I know I’m laying in the sun right now listening to my peaceful meditation music but something about not talking to him makes me so sad in a deeply irrational way. What am I gonna do, just lie here in the sun and enjoy myself? I couldn’t.
Back on my laptop, I pull up Reddit. I click around for a while. Nothing particularly interesting. I notice he left a comment on a few hockey posts last night, which makes me a little giddy to see. Spotting my friend in the wild like that. I click on his account and start snooping around. Lots of hockey, lots of fish. My man knows what he likes.
But then I click on his upvotes. I figure it’s going to be more of the same – cool-looking fish tanks, fun swimming holes in Oregon, hockey memes, the usual – but it isn’t.
It’s a whole lot of gay porn. A whole lot. I scroll and the gay porn just keeps going, then I scroll back up to the top when I realize I’m never going to get to the end of it. It’s post after post of porn – a wolf on the kitchen counter getting fucked by a rabbit, an older snake jerking off in the front seat of his car with the caption “caught my coach watching the game,” a military dobermann cumming in his own mouth, some professionally filmed pornography of a cat and a deer fucking at a pool, a snow leopard guy in panties getting fucked on the couch, a construction worker jerking off at the site, a dog at the gym with his jockstrap poking out of his shorts, two guys cruising in a bathroom. I could keep going for an hour and there’d still be more porn to look at.
I’m rock hard. My dick is throbbing in my boxers as it’s pressed against the bed. I start scrolling again, a little more slowly this time, paying attention to all the subreddits he’s upvoted posts from. R/softies, r/gaycruising, r/fleshlighters, r/bulges, r/portlandgonewild, r/publicboys, r/collegeboys, r/blacktwinks, r/cum. Literally everything. You could spreadsheet this. I scroll for maybe 10 minutes until it finally turns into hockey memes and fish descaling tutorials and backcountry navigation and by then my eyes burn from staring at my computer screen for so long.
I close my laptop and flip over. My dick flops out of my boxers.
I am dangerously horny right now, but it’s not because of the porn. I don’t particularly like porn, anyway. Something about it gives me the creeps. Whenever I jerk off, I just enjoy the physical sensation of it without really thinking about anything. Of course staring at guys fucking each other for 10 minutes is gonna get me hard whether I like it or not, but I really don’t think that’s it. I think it might be the idea that Asher upvoted all this porn.
Think about it. Asher, my autistic Boston hockey dog friend, sat down at his desk and looked at porn for god knows how long in order to accrue such a selection. He probably jerked off to it. Sitting there in his yellow briefs and his Bruins jersey, dick poking out of his underwear. Balancing his chin on his paw with all his little chin scruff flattened out, that same aloof expression on his face he always has as he whacks away at his dick. Him holding his breath as he lets out a load all over his jersey, collapsing back onto his chair as all of the energy explodes out of him. Holy shit.
I start touching myself, rubbing the head of my dick with my thumb and thwapping my tail against the bed in pleasure. I let the image of him like that stay in my mind as I jerk off with my eyes closed. I use one paw to pin my tail down so I’m not so freakin’ loud and one paw to push my cock down, give it a good stretch before I go back to jerking off. I moan in pleasure.
My daydream sort of morphs in my head. Instead of him jerking off alone at his desk, I’m there too. We’re on his bed and he’s still in the same cutie outfit, legs spread kind of like how mine are right now. He’s touching himself just as he was before and I have my muzzle pushed right under his balls. I’m getting a good sniff. Then I lick him from his balls up to the tip of his dick before I start giving him head. He has a paw on the back of my head and he’s guiding my movement. My tail is thwapping around like crazy and I’m having a hard time maneuvering around his dick because I’m smiling too much.
In real life, I’m getting close. I have to keep my paw a little more controlled so the sound of my forearm slapping against my thigh doesn’t get too loud. I have to focus on what I’m thinking about to bring myself to completion, so I imagine Asher moaning as he cums. His stupid little Boston accent, him opening his mouth just a little and seeing his soft tongue and his cute little doggy teeth, him going “fuuuuuck,” under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear. That image is just enough to finish me off, and soon enough I’m shooting ropes all over my tummy while moaning his name under my breath. It’s a good freaking name to moan.
I sit there for a moment, basking in the glow of the sunlight, giving him a little kiss on the forehead in my fantasy, before I strip my boxers off and wipe myself up. Now that that’s done with, I guess it’s time to start the day.
That freaking dog. I’ve wanted to make a move for so long, but now that I’ve seen this, that fire only burns a little stronger in me. Imagine how lovely it would be to cuddle with him, to give him a kiss on the forehead, to call him my boyfriend.
Someday. Someday soon.
PART 2 - ASHER
I’ve been hyper-fixating on the strangest thing recently.
Of course I’ve had my fair share of odd special interests, the type where you look down at 6 PM and you look up at 4 AM starving with a migraine and you didn’t even notice the time that passed. I’ve had them all. Papa’s Pizzeria, isopods, PaRappa the Rapper, evidence of Aliens, diner menus, ice, everything. If you can think it, I probably had a two month long phase where that was the only thing in the world I could think about. There’s a very consistent way they work – I get something new recommended to me on Reddit or Youtube or in a book and I jump down the rabbit hole of that thing until it makes up every fiber of my being. After two months, pretty consistently, I feel that thing slipping away from me and I am filled with deep longing until the next thing comes around.
And boy has the next thing come around.
I will preface this by saying that I am not a very horny person. I have needs like every other dog, but I just don’t get those urges as often as everyone else. Maybe once a week I jerk off, at that. I never really had the drive to get any in high school like everyone else did and I still don’t particularly have that urge now. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just how I’m programmed.
My most recent special interest, backcountry navigation, recently ended in a fiery explosion when I asked my dad to drive me to the middle of the woods with a compass and a ham sandwich and I had to get back home with no assistance. I got home at 3 AM covered with scratches all over my body and I slept until 5 PM the next day. I’m not saying it wasn’t fun – every second of it was exhilarating, really – but it is definitely over. I always have to be careful, because I know the next thing I get interested in is going to take over my life.
It started a few days ago. It just so happened to have been a week or so since I last jerked off and I felt it in my body. That feeling where you wake up with an erection and it just won’t go away as hard as you try, where the rest of the day is twinged with horniness because of it. I had the day free from any responsibilities, so like any good dog does, I pulled up some Reddit porn and took my dick out of my briefs. Aggressively normal, right?
I don’t really know how to describe it. I was at my desk in my Bruins jersey with my dick poking out of my briefs and I had the whole day to myself. Perfect set up to crank one out. But when I was looking at the porn, it felt like I was seeing past it, Matrix-style. Let’s just say it was the least horny I’ve ever been while looking at porn.
I watched porn for hours. That’s not the kind of dog I am, okay? I may not really have a job and I might sit around all day doing nothing, but I’m not jerking off all day. I wasn’t even jerking off that day either. I was thinking about how people film porn, how they advertise it, how they come up with different things to post each day. What makes a dick pic a good dick pic – what distinguishes a grungy, low-quality image from a masterpiece that transcends porn, and why sometimes the former is the one you want to get off to. The politics of topping and bottoming as opposed to being a dominant and a submissive as opposed to having male genitals and female genitals, how the sets are intertwined by society but really have nothing to do with each other. Big dick politics. Why wearing socks makes it straight. Society’s obsession with getting caught, with being in public, with parking your car in the parking lot and going at it while hoping somebody notices.
I forgot I was supposed to be touching myself at a certain point, so I was just sitting there staring at my laptop, my flaccid dick hanging out of my briefs. I took the laptop back to my bed and continued there under the covers, thinking about sex for hours until I got a text from Houston and I was back in the real world.
I so wanted to blab about sex to him that day. I wanted to ask him a million questions – what did he think about porn? What did he think about sex? Was he a top or a bottom? Why is that? – but we’ve never so much talked about relationships in general and I think asking intimate details about his sex life might have been a step too far. He’s always been great about listening to me talk about the things I’m interested in, but this is definitely past that. How do I even go about explaining that I want to know if he’d take it in the back not because I was sexually interested in that but because it’s a fascinating concept in general? We talked about hockey that day, the other thing I can blab about forever, but sex was still, of course, in the back of my head.
I’ve never had sex before. That never bothered me very much. I was a little too “weird” in high school to be getting any, but I’m not sure I particularly wanted to anyway. Something about it is way too personal for me, even the most impersonal gas station cruising or Grindr hookup. But this past week has been different. I’ve been thinking about sex so much. In every position, in every place, with everybody of every genitals. I’ve always called myself gay, but I was looking at straight porn this week and it’s like something clicked in my head.
In my mind, it’s not me having sex. Sex is happening and my entity is purview to it. On the internet, that means watching porn or reading smut. In real life, that means having sex yourself. I don’t mind having sex like that, for some reason. The idea sounds like a lot of fun. Like I’d learn a lot.
This is perhaps the nerdiest sentiment I’ve ever expressed, but I’ve been working on a spreadsheet of sex acts I’d like to try. I really truly deeply understand that that’s not normal, but I really don’t care. The same way that people go to parties and try to find pretty people to take home with every inch of their soul, I made this spreadsheet with every inch of my soul.
There are three columns. The first is a sex act. The second is a link to porn featuring the sex act (I know, I know). The third is a check box – completed or not completed?
Here are the items in the first couple of columns:
- Mutual masturbation
- Handjob (single and double pawed)
- Oral
- Thigh job
- Frottage
- Doggy style
- Missionary
- Cowboy
- 69ing
Et cetera. It’s perhaps the most pedantic thing I’ve ever written out. I originally only made the spreadsheet to catalog sex acts period, but along the way I figured that the only way I’d really understand what they’re like is to try all of them myself. It kind of became a bucket list, but it’s not like I particularly want to do them. I’m not sure that distinction makes sense – I’d like to know what all of these things are like but it’s not to fulfill any personal sexual gratification. Whether or not I’m ever going to do that remains to be seen.
I’ve spent today perfecting my spreadsheet and texting back and forth with Houston.
I noticed ur not into backcountry navigation anymore
Nothing at all abt it on reddit
I knowwww
So sad
It will always hold a special place in my heart
What happened????
That was just its time
I’m sure it will help me one day if I find myslsef lost in the woods
We can go camping
And ill leave you behind
Yippee!
Anything new
Or r u just on a hockey kick again
Ummmm
It’s a little weird
What is it
U don’t have to tell me LOL if u dont want
Ok but when I say it’s weird I mean it’s weird
It’s not like cute weird like when I was into Vermont or the Wordle
It’s just weird
Dude das ok
Cmooon ive heard the rest of them
Pleeeease
Ok you asked
Sex
SEX?!?!?!?!!
Dude
I told u!!!!!
No u did tell me
Hahahaha no it’s totally fine it’s not that that that weird
U could have said like
Ax murdering in the woods
And i would have been like yeah that’s my friend asher he’s so fun and loves getting active outside
What’s the story
Ummm idk it’s weird
I mean i said that already but idk might be too much information
Tell me if u don’t wanna hear
I’ll tell u if i ever get uncomfy, ok?
Don’t worry
I explain to him the whole story. I leave in the details about sitting down to jerk off, about sitting there for hours and forgetting I was going to masturbate, about the hours I’ve spent over the last few days thinking about it. He occasionally interjects with a bewildered question but never asks me to stop, so I figure he’s comfortable with it.
Wow
Holy cow
That’s so fun hehehehehe
Can I send you my spreadsheet?
Spreadsheet 👀
U r so freakin dedicated man
I send it over, then stare at my paws until he responds. I love texting Houston so much – it’s one of the reasons I wake up in the morning, really. He’s my best friend. The response doesn’t come in as quick as I was expecting – I really hope I didn’t cross a boundary right now.
Sorry if that was too much
We don’t need to talk about it anymore
No
That’s all he writes for a few seconds, and I almost turn my computer off from the tower in embarrassment. This is the one boundary we’ve never really crossed and I just crossed it and it went badly. I want to die.
But then he continues.
Soo…. u wanna do all this stuff?
Wellllll
Short answer is yes
I go on to explain the long answer, which takes so much wording to turn into something I can express over text. It makes perfect sense in my brain, not so much typed out. Houston seems to get it, though – we both agree that I want to do it in an impersonal way, but not for the typical reasons sex might be impersonal.
Hehehehe
It’s a long list
I know u like… haven’t done anything w anyone yet
What do u think ur gonna do?
I don’t know!
I guess find someone who wants to do it haha
WDYM
Like what’s ur criteria I guess im asking
Ohhh
Nothing really
If someone wanted to do it with me I’d do it
As long as we both consented then it would be ok!
Like anyone anyone?
Pretty much
I mean someone my age near me lol but that’s pedantic
He takes a while to respond to this. I don’t think I’ve lost him this time but I’m not sure what he’s writing – maybe a list of people who really need to scrupulously go through a list of sex acts. I’m expecting an essay in response like I’ve been giving him – his response is a lot shorter than I thought.
I’d do it LOL
If u want
Oh! I like that idea a lot. Houston’s a very physically affectionate person and he’s probably the person I’m closest to emotionally and physically, so that gap wouldn’t be as hard to bridge as it might be with a stranger. We already know everything about each other so this wouldn’t be weird at all. I know he has some sexual experience, which is nice. He could drive over and we could try a couple of things and see how it feels. I like it!
Yeah!
If you wanted to I think that would be fun
If ur serious
I am I am
Yeah yeah yeah
I grin and flap my paws a little more. Maybe I will get to explore this a little deeper than I’d get just by watching porn.
What would u wanna do?
I mean u have a long long list LOL
IDK I could just come over sometime and we could chill
See what we get around to?
Maybe on friday after your classes?
Yeah we could do it then
That sounds good
Yay!
My dad will be at work so we’d have my room to ourselves
Cool cool cool
Yeah okay that sounds like a plan dude
Thank you sm for helping me with this
I know my interests can be a lot sometimes so I always appreciate that ur into them to
Dude totally
Any time
I gotta head to bed now but we’ll text tmmr?
And then hang friday?
Yeah
We’ll do it!
Goodnight!
Goodnight asher <3 <3 <3
PART 3 - HOUSTON
I am driving over to go have sex with my best friend.
I haven’t stopped freaking out about this since Wednesday night, when he first proposed it to me. Seriously. I skipped all of my classes yesterday because I was too excited. I spent the entire day skipping between jolts of energy and deep, deep hornyness, so much so that I went for an hour-long run just to get all of it out of me. I’ve been thwacking my tail against everything the whole day. When my friends asked me what I was smiling about and I couldn’t come up with an answer, they all teased me about my online hockey boyfriend from Boston and I barked in response. So that’s where I’m at right now.
Of course, it’s the weirdest way anyone’s ever had sex with their crush. Never in a million years did I think Asher would get hyper-fixated on sex, of all things, and then ask me to have sex with him so he could experience the act of sex for himself. It makes me wonder what the hell sex with him is like – I don’t think he’s going to be nervous but I can’t imagine him jumping for joy either. I wonder how big his dick is. I wonder how soft his tummy is. If I crash the car right now they’re gonna see my dead corpse has an erection.
I’m trying not to think about it too hard. It’s just like a hookup or a friends with benefits situation. Half of my friend group is going through this right now. I’m just gonna drive over and we’re gonna have fun and mess around a little and it’s totally normal. I will say I’ve properly dated two guys in my life and had a short relationship with another, but I’ve never had a sex with someone I wasn’t in a relationship with. I hope I don’t fall harder for him than I’ve already fallen.
It’s always a trek to get over here. I’d do it more often if the drive wasn’t an hour and I had more spare time to spend a whole day fishing. Sometimes he sends me the cutest texts asking me if I want to go fishing on a day where I have an essay due and all he can respond with is a sad face. He goes alone and sends me photos of all the fish he catches and I sit there and stare at them instead of doing my work. Now, though, I’m pulling into his driveway.
He steps outside and stands in the doorway, wearing the same outfit I always see him in. Bruins jersey, oversized jeans, socks but no shoes. His bangs are covering his eyes and his hair is over his shoulders. His headphones are always on but he always turns the music off when we’re hanging out. His tail sways back and forth.
“Hey, Asher!”
“Hey, man.” He waits for me to get up the porch and steps inside when I’m up. I track a few autumn leaves inside as I close the door. He’s in the kitchen with an entire salmon on the cutting board – Asher’s nothing but consistent. “Are you hungry?”
“Makin’ lunch?”
“Salmon rolls. I caught it myself.” I love his flat Boston accent on the word caught – he talks all on the same pitch with little variation. “Want some?”
“Sure!”
We catch up for a little bit. He puts the music from his headphones onto the speaker in the kitchen and we listen to his attempt at a chill playlist while we chat about this and that. I think it’s supposed to be autumn vibes but it switches rapidly from electronic music to Japanese city pop to folk chanting. I’ve learned to deal with the variation.
For two guys who are about to have sex, we’re sure not talking about sex. I tell him about my new classes this semester (Morphosyntactic typology, conflict resolution, figure drawing and architecture 101), I tell him about what I picked up at the thrift store with my friends, I tell him about the latest Alberta New Seasons gossip. Asher’s good at listening and I’m sure good at talking. All the while, I watch him butcher the salmon, cut the avocado, and pack it onto the rice. He makes six nicely-sized salmon rolls for both of us, twelve total, and plates them up all nice for us. He even pours soy sauce into a little container for us to share. We grab some takeout chopsticks and bring it over to his room to eat.
I love his room. It’s maximally stacked upwards – posters cover the walls all the way up, he lofted his bed and has a little sitting area underneath, even the bookcase is filled to the brim with stuff that touches the ceiling. A hockey stick and a fishing rod are on the wall above his bed, which is the most Asher thing ever. He climbs up onto his bed and I sit at his desk and we eat our sushi. It’s delicious.
For two guys who are about to have sex, we’re sure not having sex. I don’t mind it – a lot of the time we spend hanging out in person we spend just chilling, existing in the presence of each other. It’s the exact opposite of how we text where we talk for hours. Right now, though, the silence doesn’t feel comfortable. Maybe it is for him, but I’m having a hard time getting the salmon in my mouth because I’m so nervous and so excited. After a couple of minutes of this, I just have to blurt it out.
“So are we gonna…?”
He moves his plate aside. “Have sex? Do you still want to?”
“I do, if you want.”
“Yeah. Are you still hungry?”
“No.”
“I’ll take the plates to the kitchen and when I get back we can start?”
“Sure!”
He takes my plate and he’s off. I sit in his room and vibrate with excitement. Warm autumn light pours through the window.
“So,” I say when he gets back in. “What do you wanna do today?”
“Hm… you’ve seen my list, right?”
“I don’t think we’ll get to everything on it.”
He smiles a little. “Maybe we can just see what happens?”
“Sure… but just so I know what to expect, generally what do you think we’ll do?”
“Kiss… disrobe a little… jerk each other off?” He looks at me. “Your tail is wagging so much.”
“I’m excited!”
“Me too.” He hops off the bed and stands over me. I could cum right fucking now. “Um, is there anything you wanna talk about beforehand?”
“About what?”
“I dunno. Just anything you wanna communicate since we’re doing something really intimate.”
“Oh! Uh…” I love you? “No. Nothin’ much.”
“Yeah, um…” He thinks about it for a second. “I don’t like being naked.”
“No?”
“Like I shower in the dark. I don’t have an issue if I have something on, but something always has to be on.”
“Like as in you don’t want to take anything off, or you only want…?”
“I think right now I’ll ask that we keep my jersey on.”
“Sure. Good luck from the Bruins.” I grin. “ Anything else?”
“Um. You know I’ve never done this before.”
“Yeah, that’s cool. I don’t mind. If you ever want to stop, we can stop, no matter what. Like, don’t feel uncomfortable about it, just tell me.”
“I know.”
I snort. “You know?”
“Sorry, I mean. I do know. Did the research.” He chuckles. “Shall we begin?”
“I think we should.”
“Let’s begin.”
I sit politely in his desk chair, paws tucked in my lap, while Asher stands in front of me. I don’t think he’s trying to make a show out of it, although my erection would beg to differ. He’s tall, man, six foot three or four maybe. He hooks his paws in his belt and undoes it, then holds his pants at the button. He smiles. “You ready?”
“Go ahead.”
He undoes the button and lets them drop. My heart skips a beat. He is wearing the cutest yellow briefs, a nice erection tucked into those. His butt looks amazing. It’s the baggy cargo pants, I guess, but his butt looks so much bigger with the pants off.
“Cute,” I say through my goofy grin. “Super cute.”
His face doesn’t change, even with his pants off. He steps out of them. “Thank you.”
“Are they Bruins brand?”
“Yeah.” He wags his tail a little. “They were selling them.”
“Hey, I didn’t say I didn’t like them. Very cute. Very very cute.”
“Can you take your pants off?”
“Yeah, dude!” I go to slip off my shorts, but I stop. “You wanna take them off?”
“Can I?”
“Yes sir.”
He steps forward and slips his paws underneath the waistband of my shorts. I fall back into the chair and let him pull them all the way down. My erection tents so obviously in my boxers. I just smile sheepishly.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks.
I nod. There is nothing I would like more.
We move up to the bed. I think I’m going to sit up and we’re going to do the classic awkward makeout sitting on the edge of the bed, but he plops himself on me missionary style and kisses my muzzle like nothing. His weight on me makes me all fluttery inside and our dicks press together in the most perfect way, not to mention the fact that we’re kissing. I thwap my tail against the bed in excitement. It’s all racing through my mind – our erections, the feeling of his paws on my shoulder, his hair falling onto me, my wagging tail, being pushed into the bed by him. I have to take a deep breath and focus. I can freak out about this later. Right now, I just have to enjoy it.
We’re instantly trying to jam our tongues into each other’s mouths, less like kissing and more like biting each other. This is his first time kissing anybody at all, I realize. I have to take the lead. As much as I want to be biting him like a dog right now, I pull back and start kissing him respectably. It’s lovely. We lap at each other so softly. His grip on my shoulder tightens. His erection pulses.
I use my free paw to push the hair out of his eyes and smile at him. He pulls away. “You okay?”
“I’m very very happy.”
“Me too.”
I love you, I think very loudly in my head. We keep kissing and it’s the only thing in there. If I’m not freaking out about him on me or about my boner or about how I never want this to end, I’m thinking “I love you.” I love you I love you I love you.
