It’s a good fucking life not caring anymore.
Jude and I lay in my bedroom. The idea that we could do our work is there. There are definitely calculus problem sets sitting in both of our bags that could be done, texts to respond to, essays to write, but none of that matters anymore. We both got into college, Jude on a wrestling scholarship a few months ago and me just a few days ago. We’re both 18, so technically we could hop in his hand-me-down 2012 Toyota Corolla and drive off into the sunset, but hanging out in my room in my underwear is a good alternative.
We’ve also reached that point in our relationship where I can watch Minecraft Youtubers play hardcore Minecraft for a hundred days on my laptop and he can lay his doggy head on my thighs and scroll through Instagram on his phone. Dating since the start of junior year will do that for you.
Right as he’s trying to trap a charged Creeper in his mob museum, I feel his paw touch my bulge. Jude has a thing for touching my bulge in a non-sexual way, so at this point I barely take notice of it. When he worms my dick out of my underwear, I don’t even look up.
This is normally where he stops. Jude loves touching my dick just because, and then I ask him if he wants to have sex and he just sticks his tongue out at me and he giggles. He doesn’t stop. He keeps touching it with his paw pads until I get hard because, you know, my boyfriend is touching my dick. I feel the tip of his wet dog nose touch my penis.
“Dude,” I finally say with a laugh. “What’s going on down there?”
I put a paw on my laptop and lower my computer screen and, low and behold, Jude is there staring at my erection like it’s a beautiful sunset and there’s a million colors splashed across the sky. One paw is holding up his face, smushing his cheek in, and the other paw is threatening to touch my balls, just half an inch away from it.
He finally looks at me with a shit-eating grin on his face. “What?”
“It’s a dick. You’ve seen it before.”
“It’s a really good looking dick, man.” He chuckles. “You know you have a great dick.”
“I do.”
“How big is it?”
I smile. His muzzle is still an inch away from it. “I dunno, never measured.”
“Yeah, but in that photo you sent me…”
“Right, with the water bottle.”
“I mean, how big is one of those water bottles?”
“I dunno, eight inches?”
“Yeah, and you’re bigger than that too. And just as thick.”
“Haha, yeah.”
“You have a really nice dick.” He swallows.
I frown. “Everything cool?”
“I can’t compliment your dick?”
“No, I mean. Please do, haha. It just seems like you’re thinking about something.”
“I’m thinking about laying my head on it.”
I put a paw under his chin and scratch. “Yeah?”
“Can I?”
“You can.”
He lays his head on my dick like it’s a pillow and it’s the cutest thing ever. Look at that – my doggy boyfriend and my big dick against his face. He looks good with his nose poking into it, with his chin resting on my balls. Jude should always have a dick in his face. Then he pouts like a sad dog. At first I think it’s just because he wants to put my dick in his mouth so badly which, believe me, I would not mind, but then he sits up and sighs again.
“Um,” he says, “Yeah. Maybe I’m feeling some things.”
“What’s up? Is this a dick out conversation?”
“Keep it out. It’s like a coffee table book.”
“Cool.”
He lies down next to me. I shut the computer and put it on the ground next to the bed, then put my arm around him. My dick is still out. I think everyone should have their dicks out all the time, actually.
“Um. Do you think about… okay, this question sounds crazy I think, but do you think about having a big dick a lot?”
I snicker, then wish I could take it back when I see the look on his face. “No. Not really. Like, when I’m doing calculus homework I’m definitely not thinking about having a big dick.”
“But when you’re looking in the mirror?”
“Yeah. I mean. I dunno. I think I’m hot. I have pecs and I work out and I have a nice dick, you know?”
“But like. Does it change the way you feel about yourself?”
“No? I think I’d like myself if I had a big dick or not.”
Jude sighs. “I feel like I’m thinking about my dick constantly.”
“What? You have a great dick. You have a great dick, man.”
“I know… or, not ‘I know,’ but like you’ve told me that before and I’ve heard it… like I don’t know. I’m like, what, four inches?”
“Yeah, and it’s a great four inches.”
He smiles at that. “It’s just on my mind so much. Like when I’m with other guys, whenever I’m with other guys, I’m always thinking about their dicks… and I’m just like god these assholes probably have huge dicks and they’re probably so smug about it… I know if I had a big dick I’d be parading it around for everyone to see… but I don’t. It’s like having a big dick grants you something instantly, you know, like access to this cool kids club. There’s instant clout and respect and everything. And it’s so inconsequential and it does not matter if I have a big dick ever, I have a great boyfriend who loves me no matter what, there is nothing wrong with having a small dick, morally or aesthetically or functionally or otherwise, but it just fucking gets to me!”
Jude looks at me. “Okay, do you think I’m crazy? Did your dick shrivel up into your body and fall off?”
“Dude, you’re not crazy. Dick’s still there. Take a look.” We both take a look at my dick. Flaccid but still there.
“Cool.”
“Oh. Jude. Man. I’m sorry.” I scratch his chin again. “Yeah. That fucking sucks. That sounds so awful.”
“Yeah, sorry, what am I doing? What are you gonna do about it?”
“I mean. I dunno. I don’t have any, you know, direct follow up to that. Like, I know I have a big dick and it’s not on my mind all the time, but I know those guys that are like that and they’re infuriating… but, uh, I dunno. I think I get it.”
“Yeah?”
“I was kind of, uh, remember when we first met?”
“When you moved from Australia in fifth grade?”
“Haha, I mean when we first met as teenagers. When we re-met.”
“At that wrestling meet.”
“Yeah. I was…” I laugh. “I can’t believe I’m saying this. You made me freaking feral.”
“What?” He tries to hide his grin. “What do you mean?”
“Ugh. Because I love wrestling, but I’m freaking awful at it. I’m scrawny and I haven’t filled out yet and I suck hard at wrestling–”
“At least you have a big dick.”
“True, I did have that. But it didn’t fucking matter, because here was this dog who is everything. He’s great at wrestling, first of all, I hear the coaches whispering about him because he’s the thing they need for the team to go anywhere – and yes, I’m talking about you. But you’re not just that. You’re really funny. And you have a great smile. And you’re really nice. And I totally have a massive crush on you but I’m not ready to admit that yet.”
“You had a crush on me then?”
“I had a crush on you the whole freaking time.”
He laughs. “Aww, Kai.”
“I’m not done though. The thing I was the most jealous of the whole time… was that you were so fucking great at wrestling and you didn’t even like it.”
“Oh,” he says, and then he considers it for a second. “Oh.”
“You had this thing I wanted so badly, and I thought about it so much, and you didn’t even care about it. It freaking tortured me. I was obsessed with it, and I would hear you in the locker room and you’d be so blah about it, when you knew it was impressive and you knew it made the girls like you and you knew it made you into a hot commodity. And it was always there. You were always the guy who was good at wrestling. Dude, you got a scholarship for wrestling now. How could it not always be on my mind?”
He smiles. “Okay. Yeah. I think I get it.”
“How could you not always be on my mind?” I give him a kiss on the forehead and he beams. “Cute.”
“You should, uh, kiss me again.”
I do. I kiss him on his muzzle, then I flip over onto him. My dick is still out as it presses against his crotch, and it gets harder with every kiss.
“Can I make one more point?” I say, pulling away from him.
“Yes.”
I lower down to his crotch and I undo his belt. I look up to him to get permission to keep going and he smiles again. I undo the button, unzip his pants, and pull his erection out of his briefs. Then, I simply hold it in my paw.
“My final point,” I say.
“I’m listening?”
“Look at this beauty.”
He laughs. “Okay, I see it.”
He’s not the biggest I’ve seen, that’s for sure, but he has such a beautiful cock. It’s so beautiful. There is not a cock in the world I’d rather be holding right now than his, pulsing in my hand, pretty and pink, waiting for me to make a move.
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you too.”
“Uh. Do you wanna jerk off?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I think I do.”
This is my favorite thing we do. It originated from us getting together as teenage guys, too afraid to actually have sex, but at this point it feels more intimate to me than any “real” sex we could have.
Jude takes a position on the other side of the bed and I sit in front of him. We both grab our dicks and we start jerking off.
We’ve done this so many times. There was a period where we were doing this multiple times a day, doing it all night, where he’d get home from a track meet and we’d just sit in my room and jerk off with each other, staring into each other’s eyes until it was too dark in the room to see each other. We have actual sex now, which is, you know, preferable, but I can’t say I don’t like this too.
Right when I start really getting into it, when I start feeling my cock pulse in my hand with pleasure, I take my eyes off of Jude’s dick and look at his face. Same shit-eating grin as before.
“What?” I tease.
“I just like this. I like you looking at me.”
“I like looking at you!”
“You’re so hot,” he says. “And your dick is so big… and I get to look at it.”
“Isn’t that neat?”
“It is.”
We keep jerking off, staring at each other’s dicks as we massage our own. I’ve known Jude long enough to recognize every telltale sign that he’s about to cum. First he folds his ears back, as he’s doing now, then he grits his teeth. When his grip on his dick changes and he holds it in between his index finger and his middle finger, which I have never seen anyone do in porn ever, I know he’s about to cum. In front of me, Jude does all that, then starts grunting under his breath. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. “You’re so beautiful.”
That sets me off too. Jude begins to orgasm, shooting his thick cum all over his sweatshirt, and soon enough cum is leaking out of my dick too, pulsing all the way down until it pools on my hand and my balls. We breathe in unison as the warmth throbs through us. I put my forehead against his. Breathe in, breathe out.
I give him a kiss and then pull away.
“Woah,” he says. “Cool.”
“Feel better?”
“Yeah. I do.”
